"If you're squeamish about shoplifting, the best way to obtain free cake and ice cream is to lie several times a year about the date of your birthday."
"Sometimes you might be fortunate enough that someone who has wronged you in the past contacts you to express his desire to meet with you in person to apologize. You can either accept the offer, or you can formulate a plan of vengeance to take advantage of the face-to-face meeting, and then accept the offer."
"If you employ mind over matter then matter is undermined."
"Knowledge is power -- but if it's published in a book, knowledge is copyrighted."
"It takes courage to make a fool of yourself; unless you're not really trying -- then, any idiot or coward can do it."
"It's not always about money, but about time and miles."
"Laughter is the best medicine, therefore, one can expect that it will eventually be bottled and taxed."